Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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