I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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