How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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