yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
two words...techno handjob
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize