Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
