wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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