Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
