I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
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