Pants 0. Shit 1.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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