K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..