i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence