So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
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Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
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You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style