Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
