How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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