Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
i think my cat just said my name.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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