I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I am one with the molecules
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize