Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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