I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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