I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
