sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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