he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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