hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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