she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
