OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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