Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
