ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
