he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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