her vagine was all disorganized.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
