I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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