I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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