Moan for me like Helen Keller
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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