well you can't waste a boner
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
