some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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