Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize