I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
