no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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