i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
