Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
