dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize