Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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