I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize
