If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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