i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
