No subtext here. People are naked.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
