oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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