ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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