So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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