i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
