And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
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Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
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