i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
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What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then