wrigley field is MILF paradise
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...