Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
