Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
