you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
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