420 ftw
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
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