just survived the first fart of the relationship.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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