Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
