Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
