4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
