also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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