Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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