It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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